Thursday, August 23, 2007

Girl gets guy, then what?

Romance novels usually end when the hero and heroine finally get together - maybe with a wedding or just with the promise of one. Now the happy couple has to slog through their marriage. If they were hot and heavy for each other before the wedding, will they keep it up after the honeymoon? If they were chaste but full of longing, will they be able to maintain the spice after the novelty of sex wears off? Will lust drown in a sea of familiarity and tedium after fifteen or twenty years? How can you keep your spouse interested?

Hmm, these are worrying questions. I mean, living with someone day in and day out, isn't for the faint of heart. Quirks materialize that you never suspected. Beauty secrets are revealed. Questions of hygiene arise. Suddenly, the happily ever after looks doubtful. Well, never fear, Tula is here to help you keep your lovelight burning long, long into the night! How, you ask. Easily. With some tips and advice to get you and your spouse thinking carnally again.

1. Keep your aura of mystique. Have you ever seen Brad Pitt take a piss? Or Sandra Bullock sitting on the toilet taking a crap? No. And there's a reason for that - we just don't want to know. Take a lesson from them. Now that you're married, there's no reason to leave the door open while you do your business in the bathroom. I can't think of anything more likely to chip away at my lust for a man than seeing him evacuating - you know, what I mean. And that goes for flossing, too!

2. Part of the way we ratchet up sexual tension is by employing anticipation - we do this as writers and we should also do it as halves of a couple. Call your lover and promise him or her a special treat of the physical kind when they come home. Leave a sexy note for them where they can find it. Email your lover an erotic poem. As he's going out the door in the morning put a picture of you in edible underwear in his hand and tell him you're expecting he'll take it off that night. Be creative!

3. Read some sexy stories and poems to each other in the evening. Hot authors to look for are Anais Nin, Zane, Kate Douglas, Kayla Perrin, Saskia Walker, Lyric James, Eileen Wilkes, Nancy Madore and a host of others. Reading about other sexy couples will put you and your lover in the mood and may even give you some new ideas!

4. Titillate your spouse! When you're at a formal function with your partner, let him know you're not wearing any underwear. Expose yourself to your woman while you're driving but don't let her touch you, no matter how much you both want her to. Perform a strip tease.

5. Buy a sex toy and try something new. Here are a couple websites you can check for teh wide range available - http://www.xandria.com/, http://www.tabutoys.com/, http://www.goodvibes.com/.

So, there you have it. I hope these will keep the spark alive. (Oh, and one thing, don't wait until your partner is dead tired to try these out.)

1 comment:

deesdailynews said...

Great post love the part where you talk about adult sex toys. Great post on after you get the man then you have 5 steps to take to keep them.